Chapter 13 “The Transformation of Desire into Abundance”
With his characteristic clarity, Kornfield maps a challenging terrain: how to deal with desire. “Buddhist psychology wants us to release unhealthy desires and hold healthy desires lightly.” I might know this is a path to freedom, but most of the time I struggle to hold desires in check.
I have a friend who is quick to criticize Buddhist thought and practice. It really annoys him for some reason. And one of the things that annoys him most is this notion of being without desire. He launches the very tired attack that Buddhism is a form of nihilsm, which, of course, is patently not true. The idea, Kornfield cautions, is “not to be without desire, but to have a wise relationship with desire.”
But the question remains, just how do I do that? Well, first of all, I must recognize when I’m in the throes of unhealthy desire. Kornfield gives the very specific characteristics of this state: “There is a tension in the body, an emotional contraction, a stickiness of mind, a focus on the future. There is a driven quality. Anxiety, jealously, rigidity, and insecurity all become stronger.” Wow. That’s a pretty specific diagnosis of a problem. So once again we’re asked to “feel the feeling.” It’s crucial to making changes.
OK. Once I feel this stickiness, what do I do? His answer: “the powerful discipline of letting go.” This is a hard one. If I believe that my anxiety will be quenched by that which I desire (a new sofa, a lover, a seat on the city council, etc.), it becomes very challenging to drop the desire. I get trapped into thinking the object of desire is going to solve my problems. I’ll be happy or honored or filled up or something else, you name it. But in that state, I forget what I most desperately want to believe from The Lotus Sutra: I already possess all that I seek. The diamond I am searching for is in my pocket. All that I want to be is already present. Just let go of desire and let all arise.
It’s at this point that I have often balked at Buddhist practice. Just let go is almost as frustrating as the Nike injunction to “just do it.” Sounds so easy, but it isn’t easy when you’ve allowed yourself to be shackled by all manner of restraints. But then comes the third step, the one that calms my uneasiness about letting go. “Through the practice of mindfulness and compassion, desire can be transformed.” Mindfulness and compassion. Both are necessary to begin breaking the shackles. I relax in this moment and make an intention to drop unhealthy desire once it is recognized. I hold compassion for myself instead of condemning my aversion. This compassion opens a space in my heart that allows me to recognize my natural state of wholeness and fulfillment.
This is the practice:
1. recognize the emotional contraction
2. be mindful and compassionate
3. drop unhealthy desire
4. watch fulfillment expand
